just some thoughts
Just some thoughts while I try to stay awake for the last 3 hours of my night shift (yes I am 31 1/2 weeks pregnant and still working some night shifts, its just mean!)
*Colin is in the hospital, I miss him even though I see him everyday, I want him home, I want to snuggle in the love sac and watch tv together and fall asleep with him next to me again
*most wives don't have to even think about what sending their husband to the hospital every 9 -12 months for 2 weeks a pop is like, for them I am glad because its not fun
*the whole hospital thing is our families norm, isn't that crazy, just our norm
*my life is a balancing act with Colin in the hospital and I am doing a pretty good job holding it all together - taking care of Colin's needs, the dog's needs, the house's needs and of course my 31 week pregnant self and our baby girl's needs (like getting rest, eating nutritiously etc), meanwhile still have to work (boo)
*I am proud of myself for sleeping alone in my house, I used to sleep at my family's house while he was in the hospital because I was too scared to sleep in a house alone, it does help to have a dog though, gives me peace of mind
*my family is the most important thing in the world to me, all though its small, its my whole world
*I can be strong right now, but will need a breakdown and cry moment at some point, always need at least one while Colin is in the hospital and I think it makes me stronger to cry it out, a good cry does wonders for the soul, Colin is used to this by now, not phased
*crying is good - I don't understand people who try not to cry as if crying makes them weaker, NO NO NO crying makes you stronger because you're able to release, deal with it and move on
*our hearts are so amazing, they can grow so much and fit all the love and compassion in them you can fill. I love my husband more each day and am so grateful for the amazing person he is, I love our daughter already with all that I am, I love our dog ( i am serious, I feel like he is my child)
*so glad for a sister who came to Heber to hang out with me and go and watch New Moon with me and sleepover - love her!
*can't wait to have my bladder back to myself, no offense baby girl but it will be nice not to get woken in up in the night at least once just to go to the bathroom, can't remember what it was like to sleep through the night without needing to wake up to go to the bathroom
I think thats all for now, better get back to work...
posted by Mandy | 2:54 AM
8 Comments:
I hope Colin's hospital stay goes by fast and that you get a good cry out to help you along. I agree. Crying helps. I purposely watch sad movies when I know I need to let out some emotions. Hang in there!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am currently experiencing having a CF loved one in the hospital for the first time, and it is rough. You are brave and fantastic!
You and Colin are strong. I think it's good to cry, too! Hope you feel safe at home. I heard once to pray that Nephite Warriors would protect your home (if your husband is out of town) and it really helped me.
I hope your bathroom frequency doesn't increase as you get even less room in there. I also hope you get lots of sleep in the next 2 months because it has to last you awhile. :)
Crying is the best, everyone should do it more. And you can comfort yourself when crying that no one else has to deal with what you deal with, with your husband being in the hospital, etc. and you're so brave and amazing. Because it's true.
Beautiful. I trust that you "save" this sort of thing for her benefit 30 years down the road.
-- Grandpa Bill
You are such a great example. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Good luck in the coming weeks!
We hope you are well and pray that Colin (and you...and your little girl) are healthy and have a very merry Christmas! I love ya, Mandy! Call me if you get a chance!
I forgot about this blog! Wow, I love that there is a woman in this world who understands me- and we don't even know each other very well! I completely relate to everything you blogged about, and completely agree. Brandon is in the hospital now, and boy it's rough. It's very difficult with a 2 month old baby, too! Unfortunately she has to be my main concern, which puts Brandon on the back burner sometimes, making me feel awful. Ah, i'm glad i found you guys!!!!
Take care & best wishes that that baby comes soon! I cannot WAIT for you!
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